Redoing 40...

When we think about milestone birthdays we think 16, 18, 21, 30, 40....For some reason the big 40 seems to be harder for women than men. Maybe that's just self-induced??? I was actually looking forward to 2008 and turning 40. Life seemed to be getting better the older I became. I knew the biggest hurdle for 2008 would be the 20th Anniversary of my Mother's death, my daughter graduating from High School and leaving home for college, and the restructuring the department I work in would face. So, turning 40 just seemed to be way down on the list! What I didn't know nor could I have anticipated was learning that the person I had been in a relationship with for 2 years had been cheating on me the whole time. Acquired that knowledge January 4, 2008...Happy New Year to me! I remember thinking of a blues song "It's been a real bad year; only 11 more months to go.." I did turn 40, did make it through the anniversary of my Mother's death, did survive my daughter graduating and leaving home, did survive the restructuring, and did release the dirty cheating partner...In looking back, I now can appreciate that what I considered a year that just sucked was actually a year of building strength and wisdom. A year in which I was given the best gift of all; a struggle so powerful which left me with no choice but to look inside and all around where I found a peace and beauty that I otherwise may have walked right past. I guess sometimes we are stopped in our tracks so that we won't miss something that's been waiting to travel with us. So, I'm redoing my 40th celebration not because it was so horrible but, to do this milestone justice that I was unable to do when it happened.